The days of being moulded, shaped or conforming to your ways I am afraid, has passed for me, this outsider has flown away from her comfortable nest and its gliding through the calm magnificent beauty of the skyline. There was a time I wanted to be part of the crowd, I wanted to be your friend, excited about the possibilities of being in the norm, listening to endless replay of your woes, giving you honest advise to see the woods from the tree. There was the time I wanted to lean on you as a good friend, help me out on the hard times, make me laugh. Proffer me a valuable advised to see through the dark lonely days.
There was a time, I was out of work, I thought being a friend and working, perhaps you could fix me with a job, or perhaps inform me of that one vacancy that was available at your organisation that I might have been suitable for. But, instead you rejoiced to see me so pitiful, instead of helping me heal, you dug your heel into my back. There was that time, were I lacked in confidence, where as my trusted friend I wanted a comforting words of support, a word of kindness to repair my splintering life, to help me back from the sinking ship of despair. To draw me out of the all consuming sadness of my life. Where any heartfelt, warm soothing words that could put me at ease to settle my anxious soul would have been appreciated.Where one comforting word, could have cleared the dark clouds and let one beam of hope into my life. But, instead you doubted my friendship.
When I showed you my true self, my bare naked true intention as an honest and decent and faithful friend, you mistrusted my motive. You saw my compassionate as softness, my generosity as weakness and my friendship as commodity for personal abuse. But, instead of being a friend to lean on you turn into the enemy from within. You pretended to be a support but, you were waiting for your moment to pounce, to cause maximum damaged. You lay in wait, whilst you woven a web of deceit.
When I was at my worst lowest ebb, and searched around my shoulders you were no where to be seen. Just like the boomerang your backbiting returned back to me, your lies, your wickedness, your ruthless competitiveness unraveled, your malicious salacious lies and your jealousy unravelled like the layers of an onion, always tarnishing my image in your conversation.
Did you know, that I know you better than you ever will know yourself, hating a friend because she got a man and you don't, she is prettier than you, she is more articulate than you, perhaps little funnier. Perhaps, if you looked at yourself little deeper in the mirror, you might have celebrated your positive God given gifts, instead of hating on your girls of what you don't have, maybe you should have concentrated on all the positive things you do have . So why did I cut you Off? Cause you are a bitch, hateful, jealous, conniving, ungrateful and disrespectful bitch who has been a dead weight to my life for many years! Phewwwwww there I said it!
So for those who I let into my life, please don't think you could fool or deceive me, as I already have played that game thousand times over, don't try to change me as all the changes I need in my life I install, don't try to belittle me as my little paw could turn into the paws of a lioness that will shred you like a Weetibix. Don't try to control me as I am a free spirited Eagle made to roam the Sky's. But, above all don't ever EVEEEEEEER disrespect me, as will verbally rain down on your parade!
But, know this if you are those special ones in my life, I will listen to your advise so long as the last decision is left to me. In showing me my faults, deliver it constructively and with compassion. All in all do not think, I mean ...EVER think you could control me, and do not ever take my love for guaranteed as it could be taken back in the same way I given it. And believe me when i say I never look back, I don't.... when I let you go.... I LET YOU GO!
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